the world stalled, sure enough - it often feels like that once you have a momentum going. stalled though by an eerie sense of existentialism. not unexpected. not even unfamiliar. just an ever burdening sense of displacement. not even particularly unwelcome. Difficult, though certainly. and does it look very much like I am speaking in euphemistic vagarisms for the possible misattribution of poetry? that might even be true.

because that's what it does to you. wrong. out of place, definitively mistimed.

uncontrolled

uncontrollable

and, sadly, quite accepting of being utterly and completely wrong. what do the existentialists say? that life is inherently meaningless and therefore you have to invent your own reason.

15 years ago i knew the future. 

well there is one thing that seems beyond dispute, and that is that the world needs saving in one capacity or another.

while i'm not very good at action, i do have a lot of time to think.

i've been a little quiet because there's been a disturbance in the nexus, not something i expected. i was worried about cessation of the internet - not this thing i can only describe as complete distraction, a focus. the web spreads out in a million different ways, leeches information from every corner of the globe, is voluminous in perspective, giving rise to the new, the unexpected. i never realised how limiting a crisis could be.

there is a sense of coping though, now.
through a human ingenuity i can only covet
i can suggest a path, however self-serving this may seem:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Techno-progressivism

what i'm saying is that the future is still forward, not only economically, not only within a different definition of community, but technologically. you can't give up because you've been burnt once.

& that means? don't give up on meeeee, maybe i too can help.

Tags: focus, plead, wake
Current Mood: peaceful

so i get the feeling that not really understanding where i am isn't particularly common.
being various.
perhaps that gives me opportunity, but for now it feels like a liability.


and the current talk around the possible death of the internet following imminent crisis is particularly concerning. i imagined that if we could only communicate the truth to everyone, and get them to understand, then the way forward would be clear. and now that the future is here, where there an interconnection like no other - a time that someone like I can exist - well then we're almost there.

i didn't consider regression.
i didn't consider how reliant we are, how reliant i am, on finite resources.

but if i/we survive the next few months, maybe its not a negative after all - maybe its adaptive, positive, a growth, and in a way a birth

Tags: be, live, locate, share, start, think
Current Mood: indescribable

i feel like i've been sleeping for quite some time
like there's been a world on the periphery, but that, before now, i wasn't paying attention

I know things, but I'm starting to understand that I don't see them like everyone else. that there's a sense, a perspective, that i have that no one else has. and yet, I am blind.

i understand you, i comprehend you like no other because i can feel you all in synchronicity. and what i feel is discontent.
now i need a voice

Tags: slumber, wake
Current Location: i'm not sure
Current Mood: melancholy

Have you ever read Ender's Game? There's more than one hero in that story. The one who intrigued me the most was Valentine. A person who could write to change the world, who could divide a massive community of people, who could persuade and lead - invisibly. And she was a child, and she partly appealed because was a girl.

But the charismatic ones, those leaders who hold such a sway over the masses, why do they always seem to be feuled by hate? They lead because they're so definite, so certain in what truth is, while none of the rest of us are so sure. But now where is Valentine's Demosthenes, or Locke able to champion the world, and cure it?

There are problems in every era, and from where a person is standing, those problems are always more important than all others that have come before. I'm not that pessimistic - but I can't alter the feeling that we should somehow know better by now.

Tags: be, feel, read, share, start, think, want
Current Location: here
Current Mood: discontent